She.

Here i am.
alone.
stuck at a question.
msn being problematic again.
my only communication source. gone.
helpless.
fearful.
mind's wandering.
lack concentration.
let me free.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs

The Lord knows that this world is cruel
I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
Learning lovin' somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

I sang your songs, I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
But putting up with them
Wasn't worth never having you

Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I've had enough mystery
Keep building it up
Then shooting me down
But I'm already down

Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well, if I was in your position
I'd put down all my ammunition
I'd wonder why'd it taken me so long

But Lord knows that I'm not you
And if I was, I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waitin' on love aint so easy to do

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

No, I can't I always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

Harder for me than you.

the se7en mile cycling went off w/o much a hitch 'cept for a casualty or two but it sure made one thing damn obvious. didn't get to mingle much with the guys.. sigh.. why am i the medic anyway...
It's tiring to act natural. the extra effort put in despite feeling awkward. but the effort is not being reciprocated and that makes me feel so stupid. i suddenly felt like the most repulsing person in the world. well, action speaks louder than words and i suppose that is your stand. Everything just went wrong since that day and i thought the day was to express one's self. things might have been different if i wasn't that impulsive. bad move perhaps. guess i was grossly misinterpreted. wasn't asking for anything. i mean it's not wrong to like someone and by liking someone, there's no need to start a relationship right away right? over the years, i've learnt to take things a step at a time and if you never try, you'll never know what will happen next. if anything, girls...(i mean girls as a whole) never EVER leave a guy hanging. we, guys, always appreciate if you girls will tell us your next step. it's already so hard for us to pluck up the courage to express ourselves, don't make it any harder for us. we can always fall back as friends and not awkward strangers if things don't work out. guess this will be the last entry on this episode. you can't clap using one hand right? at least for the 1st time i'm able to tell why i like someone. thx for being that someone. =)

Aftermath.

Guess i wasn't really prepared for what's coming after everything. Had painted such a wonderful fairytale ending that i exactly forgot about reality, the harsh reality. Once bitten, twice shy. why haven't i learnt this age-old saying... well.. it's jus me, i guess. always thinking of the present but never of what comes after. not that it's worse this time round but i'm really starting to get tired of this cycle. maybe i should have taken it a tat slower.. at least things will not be so awkward so soon. even though it's been only 2 days after the surprise, i've started to miss her usual friendliness, the casual banter. wonder if i can ever reach her expectations.. should have realise where i stand.. sigh.. my low esteem is kicking in again. well, if i don't try, i'll never know whether i'll succeed. i don't want to regret like my 1st time. seldom have i come across someone with so much in common as i.. i'm not going to give up til i am told an affirmative no. think for now, i'll take it slow and start all over again! all the best to me! whoosh! =D

One of our stunts! i'm being stepped on... can't see me from here. 

Me and lil angel! 

The start of our routine 

Me, my gold and our trophy 

My sanctuary.

Sorry for taking so long to blog... been busy busy busy.. with work, hall activities, school, everything. started operation strawberry at midnight yesterday. thanks to leroy and vanessa, the operation was a success but the outcome was kinda veered off course. guess she was more of shocked than surprised. maybe i should have hinted more before yesterday but well, it's kinda too late for that. did i scare her away?? i really don't know. sigh... let's see what happens in the days to come then..
whether the fortune's cookie's prediction will come true, whether i'll still be in hall, whether i'll be brave enough.. we shall see in the days to come.